Sometimes it takes a knife in the foot to get your attention.
This, for those who have never experienced it, is a bloody and painful reminder that multitasking is not always successful. Some might think it also ruins a pedicure, not mentioning any names.
My to-do list before I harpoon myself is a little psycho. As I have said before, the number of tasks to tackle in a day can be such a narrow fit it’s like trying to pole vault into a pair of baby tights.
On this day, I spring up before dawn to get a jump on writing, researching, and meeting deadlines. I make a ton of calls in a fit of inspiration. While waiting for returns, I run back and forth to the living room where my lovely, post-surgical patient shouts out commands.
I’m hungry! she cries. So I feed her. I need more ice! I run and get it. OK! I think happily as I meet each need. I am a good mother and a good worker, and I can do it all! I pat myself on the back.
Then it ramps up. I’m so bored, she moans, staring dolefully at the ceiling. I whirl in and deal a quick game of cards. The phone rings. Be right back, I trill! And I’m gone. A minute later: are you done YET?? I head back to the game when I hang up. Let’s make this quick!
With other projects complete, I decide to squeeze in some tennis. But before I’m done getting ready the masses of dishes in the sink catch my eye and I slide over to them in socks, snapping a cobweb in the corner with a dishtowel. Take that!
I watch the clock as I wash and stack plates. And this is when I realize my haste and packed schedule has come back to bite me. Why the hell didn’t I put on shoes?
I am rushing and a shiny black-handled knife with a glinting silver tip slips from my hand, poises in midair, and then dives down and impales me. It happens before I can think.
Oh $%&*, I say as I pull the thing out. That hurts like a ^%$#@*&. … I heard that! wafts a familiar voice from the other room.
So, I prioritize. I mop up blood, truss the wound, and leave for my game. To those of you rolling your eyes, this is just me. Tennis is my life. But, I PROMISE I have learned from this. I really have! And I will try to change. I will change!
I can’t really change today, though, because I’m busy. But tomorrow! That’s different. I promise I’ll work on it tomorrow, right after I finish my list.