FINDING myself

I should be baking pies and packing my bags for a Thanksgiving trip but I find myself lost in thought as the world churns along. The sun warms me, as it pours through the window, and I’m quiet in this moment before having to pick up the pace to join in.

Work has had me out straight for weeks, at such a fever pitch that I almost yelled my coffee order into a trash can in the Dunkin’ Donuts drive-through this morning. Where is my mind?

Well, I’ll tell you, it is stuck between the past and the present – and peeking into the future — as this season comes upon us. I am excited about driving to my sister’s house for a few great days together, but I am also deeply missing Thanksgivings with my parents, now gone, and the masses of relatives and friends who came constantly through their door.

At the same time, I am also looking at how my life has changed over the past few months, a metamorphosis that I am most grateful for on this day to give thanks — all hearkening back to one perfect day on a Cape Cod beach last summer where the knowledge that I was at a crossroads struck me. And I knew I had to decide whether I would continue living in the status quo, or grab life and make it mine.

Before then, I was slightly hesitant to take such risky steps. But in that moment I rediscovered my power and since then, I have watched life unfold in the most unusual way.

Where once I might have been more cut and dried about the decisions I make, or the things I need — It is this way, it is that way — I have instead recently taken a friend’s thought to heart in some ways to just leave the doors open and see what comes in.

My willingness to give things a chance to reveal themselves to me is surprisingly easier than I thought. What’s harder is how some who know me well view the decision to change, questioning the need, or motivation, or even the sense.

When it comes down to it, though, the decision has to fit the person, and this sudden clarity that has aligned my thoughts and decisions does seem to have opened an exciting path to the days ahead. I feel thankful and encouraged to continue my walk along it to see where it leads.

Advertisements

About Michele

I am a freelance writer with three kids, two cats, and a dog with thyroid disease. I'm bouncing back from a divorce and making the most of every day. There is so much beauty around me. I am grateful!
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s