FLATULENCE and faux hawks

Like most news reporters, I begin the day early and online reading headlines from across the globe from at least a handful of major newspapers and news organizations.

My eyes are barely open and I have my Blackberry in hand should any of those stories pertain to me and my work at The Big Paper.

It’s pretty serious stuff usually on the international scene: heartbreaking reports of genocide and starvation, suicide bombings, and aborted terrorist acts. Statewide, there are murders, kidnappings, crime, and corruption.

And on the local scene: political disagreements and interesting battles of the David and Goliath ilk between big money and the folks who want to beat the machine. This is one I have personal knowledge about.

I’ve been in the news business for 24 years. (Yes, you are right, I started very young!) And sometimes, like today, it all gets to be just a little too much. Last night I was up late writing, which fried my brain, so, in a departure, I abandoned my search for hard news to see what else is going on.

Here’s a sampling of what I found:

From Reuters: “It’s a gas: dinosaur flatulence may have warmed Earth.” I was thrilled to know that in a major new climate finding, researchers have calculated that dinosaur flatulence could have put enough methane into the atmosphere to warm the planet during the hot, wet Mesozoic era. Wow! This is news!

Then this from my own heart of hearts, The Big Paper: a treatise on our beloved Patriots’ quarterback’s ever-changing mane, titled, “How Tom Brady’s hair has evolved.”

Going against the tide, I am disinclined to give a winning vote to the latest “faux hawk” Brady sported at a tony Metropolitan Museum of Art gala last night and really prefer the spiky, sweaty look when he was hoisting the Vince Lombardi trophy after the 2004 Superbowl win.

(OK, it isn’t just the hair I like. The win was pretty good. And Brady isn’t bad, either.)

And, this just in from News of the Weird: Sega’s new Toylet Urinal Game operates on the premise that the more you pee, the higher your score. So the obvious strategy, according to this report, is to keep drinking until you’re ready to burst, and hope there isn’t a line to play the game. Is this for real? Who plays this game?

Yeah, I had a couple of laughs this morning. And maybe you do have to balance the good news with the bad. But I prefer real news to dinosaur gas or potty wars. People say there is no good, positive news to report. I’d say that statement is relative.



About Michele

I am a freelance writer with three kids, two cats, and a dog with thyroid disease. I'm bouncing back from a divorce and making the most of every day. There is so much beauty around me. I am grateful!
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