FINDING my way

I never realized how much I used to wish my life away, until I stopped doing it. I thought it was the future that would define my success instead of where I was at any given moment.

I was sure that the day-to-day I experienced was too mundane, too simple, too … normal … to really be a life worth living. I had been raised to expect more of myself, and of life. Wasn’t it better to yearn for something else just beyond my reach? Why settle, right?

Well, no, not really. As it often does, life tossed out a few curveballs to get my attention. It wasn’t about me anymore and I have had to reinvent myself following the deaths and illnesses of loved ones, a sudden career change, and a radical move to a new place. Where did the time go? Do I have enough to show for my choices?

Everything looks different when you hit the bottom emotionally and realize no one is going to pull you up but … you. It’s a biggie, too, when you see how little control you really have over anything that happens to you, or someone you love. In my case, with no desire or energy left to reach into the future, I just started seeing my world differently.

Like how insightful my kids are when I really, truly listen to them. How hard my husband works and what good company he is. How the first walk of the day with the dog is so much more pleasant when I remember to look up into the awakening sky.

Living in the here and now is a tough lesson to learn. It’s the small things that make life good, not the illusions of who you are, or are expected to be. Time passes quickly enough without throwing it away on wishes for something better, bigger, and grander, especially when you realize what a good thing you have going already.

 

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About Michele

I am a freelance writer with three kids, two cats, and a dog with thyroid disease. I'm bouncing back from a divorce and making the most of every day. There is so much beauty around me. I am grateful!
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4 Responses to FINDING my way

  1. mmm61 says:

    My husband asked recently about my “bucket list” and I realized that I didn’t have one. I felt such gratitude to realize that there was nothing else I pined for than what I had. Don’t get me wrong – I wouldn’t turn down a trip to Europe; I would rejoice at more money; I wish my house was bigger; but really, I have all I need.

  2. Michele says:

    I don’t pine for anything, either. It’s a good place to be. (Although yes, scads of money would put a smile on my face!)

  3. Pat Cegan says:

    Applause and a silent nod! hugs, pat

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