By mmm61, Guest Blogger
This morning I read something about what it means to be “special.” We make ourselves special in many ways by sometimes inflating our egos and by sometimes demeaning ourselves. We believe we are special because we are more beautiful, more talented, better educated, hard-working, wealthier, more polished, or thinner. We are also special because of our wounds. We’ve been damaged in some way that sets us apart – abused, invalidated, abandoned, rejected, misunderstood, fat, physically or mentally handicapped. The list of both “good” and “bad” ways in which we can be special can go on.
Choose your poison. In fact, choose a few. We all consider ourselves special in one or more of these ways. However, it seems that all this specialness serves to do is separate us from each other. We can feel “better than” or “worse than” another. There is no difference. The comparisons often result in us feeling isolated and alone in our own guarded world.
Clinging to our notion of specialness and isolation also keeps us from our gifts. Buried under all of our comparisons is a core of the truth we all share. We were all created as equals, by love to share love. That is what we are here for. But first we have to sift through our illusions about our differences or differentness. Self-opinion can imprison us in an endless cycle of comparison and fear. How can we truly connect with another human being, or with our concept of a loving creator, if we are stuck in the idea of being special?
For me, my specialness keeps me from sharing a gift because I judge it and I fear others will as well. From the worldview in which I was raised, and that many others share, being an astrologer is kooky. There is no intellectual or rational reason why astrology should be helpful to people, and yet it is. I’ve seen it time and time again. Each client is a messenger to me of the gift that astrology offers. But I am too intellectual, too grounded in reality, too normal to label myself an astrologer. And of course, at the same time, I am not good enough.
So I’m working on not being so different from the rest of humanity. I’m trying to trust that the creator has fashioned each of us with the ability to leave our little prisons and meet each other from our true self, the self that knows that love and its many gifts reside within, meant to be shared, even if they are temporarily obscured by walls of specialness.