This week really kicked my ass. When I dissolved into tears yesterday I knew it was more than time for the weekend to come. So I closed up my shop early and went to lie down and wait for 5 o’clock to arrive.
Everywhere I have turned over the past few days has placed me in the path of something bad, upsetting, or frustrating. People have been annoying. In my haste to get it all done I have smashed into door knobs and door frames. I’m covered in bruises.
I’ve broken glasses, missed appointments, and actually tripped over the rug and fell right here in my office. Just one disaster after another.
I used to joke about having “seatbelt days” when it was just safer to take it slow and stay home. This whole week, and really, the one before that, qualified. We are in the middle of a brutal Mercury retrograde, for those of you who follow the stars. So that might account for some of it. My brilliant astrologer friend mmm61 could tell you a lot more about that one.
But after reviewing the week’s events, I can pinpoint some major ingredients that pushed me over the edge. I’ve been riding out some stormy seas with a client, for one. I’m really feeling the loss of my mom, even after two years. She loved April and tender new life in the garden, as do I, and I miss every second of everything I can’t share with her.
My hormones are all over the place. Up and then down. Happy, then sobs. And I’ve been juggling a lot more than I can handle in this fragile state. Taxes. Financial aid forms. Challenges with kids and animals. Cars with problems, or that crash. Misunderstandings all around.
Is this everyone’s life, or just my life? Sometimes I’m not sure. But instead of having a breakdown, as I felt last night I deserved, I’ve decided to find ways to turn it all around.
For starters, I’m going to get outside and do some yard work, which for me is as good as a miracle cure. And then I’m going to go for a manicure and a pedicure, and shop for my baby’s birthday party tomorrow.
And then tonight, I’m going to pour a big glass of wine, and optimistically offer up thanks that the worst is over. Deep breaths. Hopefully, next week will be brighter.