A critical step in choosing the direction of the future is being able to let go of the past, something I am learning is so much easier said than done. But I am trying.
I reached the third phase today in the 21-lesson personal consciousness work I’m doing which is aptly named The Gift of Release. After a brief guided meditation I had to compile a list of things I feel have been a roadblock to the life I want, and then ritualistically destroy it, as a symbol of release.
I know this works because I did it once about 15 years ago after being unable for years to get over the betrayal of a friend. At that time, I was still so angry I remember writing the most scathing letter I could muster, berating the person for causing me such heart-rending pain. I dredged up every bad word I knew, and then some.
Then I tossed it into the woodstove and as the smoke curled up into the sky I could feel the stress of that relationship just floating away with it.
Today, since I don’t have a woodstove, I sat and thought about my life and made a list of things that might have embarrassed, angered, or scared me as far back as I could remember, and those that left me brokenhearted.
There are obvious things, like the deaths of people I loved, or the end of relationships I cared about. But as the list grew I was amazed not only to see the volume of baggage I have been carrying around for decades, both large and small, but also how much unfinished business there was from situations I’d never realized had affected me so much.
The next step was to destroy the list and “release it,” asking God to transform those negatives into nectar for my soul. Which I did.
It might sound a little silly, but I find sometimes that rituals like this are a good way to really focus on the intention to move forward in life. I snickered a little myself when I began, and I can’t say that anything miraculous has happened.
Rather, I feel calm in the knowledge that I am taking steps to achieve hopes and dreams. It’s nothing that will happen overnight. But to know that I am on my way feels freeing. And giving myself permission to be released from the things, people, and situations that have hung like weights around my neck is a good first step.