I tend to thrive on lists, which are the only way I know to keep life’s colossal amount of to-dos on some kind of track.
Until now I thought they were pretty good. You know, useful. Like “get milk and cat food,” “write the Westwood story and file it,” “call the guy to install the storm door,” or “invite neighbors over for drinks.”
Being organized makes me feel good, like I’m on top of my world. And that I actually have a world, and a life, and things to do.
Crossing things off a list equals accomplishment. Sometimes, I’ll add a few gratuitous items so I can feel even better crossing more things off.
Like I might add “take the dog for a walk,” after I already have! Or “get quotes on attic insulation” when the job has already been scheduled. Cheating, I know. But, who cares? It works for me.
I have now, though, discovered a whole new genre of lists that arrive in my email in bulleted format, involving the numbers of ways that an item, practice, or situation is beneficial. Before this, the only thing I’d seen similar was that to stay healthy you drink 8 glasses of water a day.
But now a world of numbered lists has opened up, thanks to Rodale Press, which sends me a daily email, as well as WebMD, and others.
Like, “8 great uses for vinegar,” including lifting stains and melting body fat. Who knew? But, why not 9?
And, “5 mouthwatering holiday pies,” (Yes, apple is on there) and “5 household toxins that need to be banished from your home immediately,” including, believe it or not, driveway sealant and antibacterial soap. What?
I’ve seen “9 ways to let him know he’s a man.” What ways? If he doesn’t know it, is it my place to tell him? An obvious favorite, “Have the best sex of your life with these 10 simple tips.” OK! I’m listening! And in a related list, “10 new sex positions to keep you busy,” featuring The Golden Gate, The One-Lane Highway, The Swinging Bishop, and The Leaning Tower of Pisa.
I’ll spare you the details except to say that the latter, at least, involves a headstand and a neck ache, according to the list.
My head is spinning with all these new means of tracking my health, my home, and my sex life. I don’t know what to handle first. I’d better make a list.